I’m tired and I’m getting cold
I turn the heater up, I recognize I’m getting old
I wake up with a sore neck
Take a tylenol to forget
My head is fucking killing me
I didn’t even drink
I’m paying through the nose now
For shit that I don’t even know about
When I kinda wanna end it
I know my thoughts have descended
Guess it’s time to phone up Helen
I could use a session or two or a fucking million
But I don’t wanna call her
It’s been too long since I saw her
I don’t think she’s mad at me
But I bet she’s disappointed
Bet she doesn’t even think twice
About her clients from a past life
But even I don’t really think that
Maybe she would like to take me back
I felt like we were married
Sometimes I just wanted to lie
She saw into me like a hot knife
Would sit and watch me while I cried
I could tell when she was tired
And when she didn’t give a shit
She could tell when I was nervous
She knew what I was trying to forget
I love her like a mother
I can’t even pretend
Now I feel guilty cause I want her to miss me
When probably all I really need are better friends
I felt like we were married
Guess that’s the kind of wife I’d be
Weird love, enough is never enough
And when the fuck is it appropriate to leave
How can I have an attachment
To someone just because they listen
Guess I might fall in love with anyone
Who vows to validate my feelings instead of dismiss them
I didn’t even tell her
What she probably needed to know
But she planted what I have her
I sit back and watch it grow
She hugged me over Christmas
I wanted her to say
That she loved me and missed me
And didn’t want me to go away
credits
from With Strangers,
released March 9, 2024
carly bond guitar and woodwinds
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