This Bee Wants a Cigarette

by Rose Droll

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released May 23, 2017

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Rose Droll San Francisco, California

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Track Name: It Chooses You
it chooses you and you're standing in place. it chooses you on the shore of just another bay and the sun goes away. it chooses you and the phone is plastered to your face. your place smells of brandy and gin and you haven't bathed in days. there's snow on the ground but tonight the sky cries in its place over memories of autumn that you can't make go away like the sun goes away. choose it this one time and i promise you'll smile after 800 miles and last goodbyes and the open road. you'll smoke on a porch by the beach and dim the emerald light and the hill will just sink and leave the city by your sea. know the rain goes away on the west coast today.
Track Name: Worried
when i go back in time it's as a solid line spanning left to right and left to rot. and as i lie awake i see "took" as "take". i see hook and bait and hook and take it off. i can come around, bring that high hill down, let the puget sound bow down til i come back through time, california mine, so i can one day find a second side of the sun.
Track Name: One Two Three
is this the way that you fight with your face to the night, a drink in your hand and a hunger to bite? is this the way that you lie, you laugh then you cry? i heard the drink in your hand say you're the bigger man. oh man. is this the way that it goes (put up, put out, go home)? is this the way that it lies, like a dead paradise in a smoke-ladden hell in a fourth-floor cell? is this the cue to leave, to let the puget breath, to put the car in drive and let the dead ones lie down? this is the way that it goes. it goes on and on and on and on.
Track Name: Leave What They Have Made
warranting another night keeping to your bed before the light sky turns around again. what a party going on. you have got your pj's on and on, these days like hanging rope. thank you for the red ones now. you didn't want to take a pretty thing from such sweet company. but oh you thought it just might take for you to make and then erase but it's still going going strong. half of you is on the ground. the other half is chasing pills with gin and crying let me in. you got your body moving round to someone else's hard-earned sound. grow up and leave what they have made.
Track Name: Bored
you were bored so you went my way, hand in hand toward the cascades. your baseball cap and your lonely days brought me up to keep your devils at bay. what a year how'd you last at all? drunk as shit by the last call. pity peacock, a damn shame. what a sweet call, what a sad game. you kept me up on the coattail to hang like rope from your boat sail. you smell so sweet but you still tell like a poor man paying a rich bail. your glory's held in a sad man's song, need somebody to ride along to pay your bills with your old set cause you always hate what you new get. off and on hear the door slam shut. off and on just to give a fuck. don't tell me. what am i to keep in your drunken head as you fall to sleep?
Track Name: I am $$$
the heart is a liar i'm playing with fire the coast is a walk away and i'm sunk in desire. my heart is a liar pants on fire got me singing stupid songs about love and desire. i can take it in a text it's best to test the cesspool lest you feel you made a fool of your single self, the self i see wrapping willow leaves around your reasoning. you have no answer that justifies it lives it dies undercover upstate blue eyes cuddled drunken in a dark but safe place (disgrace: leg space. safe base: my face). cover cowardice like awkward boyhood whiskey kills it wills your old man emerge. you come around like a boomerang, the song you sang what rain, what a goddamn killjoy. all the shit that you can keep the fuck back, sad sack quite the silent madman has taken over when i'm drunk or sober. where's a clover when i'm young and i'm free i got what i need so why do i want your arms around me. i cannot say why you're facing away. your first drunked lean on me lit fire to stay.
Track Name: Serenade
this bee wants a cigarette. i bet he'd like a puff of it. buzzing, does he ever quit? flick ash off the end of it. days are spent in wanderlust searching for that bit of sun, thinking i had lucky caught the warmest shadow ever sought. these are days i want to last when they set what's broken in a cast. purge my demons once and for all, make everything beautiful. god is holding with me, the devil kisses both my feet while i just ask the sun to stay singing its sweet serenade.
Track Name: Today is Your Birthday
it's been a while since I held your hand. nobody here can quite understand. it wasn't some magic by which we were bound. the beauty was you picked me up off the ground. today is your birthday i hope you've been well. drink all your whiskey, ring your birthday bell. i know you're feeling old but you'll always be timeless and un-aging, at least to me. can't you see what you mean to me?