Of the Sea - Vol. 4

by Rose Droll

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recorded in my bedroom in seattle in 2011.

here's what these songs are about:

1. the bedroom, the moon: a guy
2. turn of the screw: someone
3. all this running: same someone
4. to someone i loved: a different guy
5. sweating bullets: anxiety
6. reaction: an old friend
7. earth, home: the idea of god


released February 21, 2017



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Rose Droll San Francisco, California

we had a good time

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Track Name: The Bedroom, The Moon
you can take me back to your bedroom, but i can take you up to the moon. and when you fall to earth, you can cry out from the dirt "how'd i ever get this lucky?". but by that time i'll be sailing on the sea. you weren't quite the man i thought you to be. you took up all my time, you turned my water into wine and then like magic, you were empty. before my face was married to your own, i took a plane and headed back home. my mother as she cried, said "daughter, why do you drink wine?" and where was i to say "because mom, i'm my own"? i saw the backlight glowing on my phone. another couple words to warm my bones. but if masturbation gives to you the thing you really want, then why this game of making someone else your home? i saw the backlight glowing on my phone. am i the easy win you gained the night before? cause if masturbation gives to you the thing you really want, then what's the point of fighting being alone? i saw the backlight glowing on my phone. another couple words to warm my bones, but if masturbation gives to you the thing you really want, then why this game of making someone else your home?
Track Name: Turn of the Screw
you buried your name in a most embarrassing display. it takes a brave man to notice it, a braver man to stomach it, and in the end i drank to it in silk and satin tailor-fit. like i even had a choice. like you even had a voice. some boyfriend turned the screw that flipped the switch inside of you. you made your bed and i drank to it, this champagne in my stomach sits and stares up into my brain that slowly learned to refrain from forcing fragile eggshells break and calling out the great mistake cause your first dance is to my song and i've learned to let the current move along.
Track Name: All This Running
i wish i knew how to talk to you. i wish you knew how to fall. you wish for feathers to glue to things. you wish for nothing at all. another something that means nothing. more shit to sing you to sleep. more conversations about running from what you should be facing. you wish for me to be nice to you so you don't feel sad inside, but you've got a mask that i see through, and that makes you cry. another something that means nothing. another shot in the dark. another phone call that reaffirms that we could not be further apart.
Track Name: To Someone I Loved
i have nothing to say to someone i loved. i have nothing to give to someone i loved. i have nothing to offer you. i have arms folded under my body at night. how you talk in your sleep cause the moonlight is only what i let cover me; is only what i let, so let me be; is only what i let, so be free of me. you have so much to give to someone you love. how you gave me the world that i dreamed of, and like water i ran through your fingers.
Track Name: Sweating Bullets
sweating bullets at the bar screaming "they know what you are". getting nervous, start to cry, hyperventilate inside. they don't see the smallest frame shuffle shadow feet in shame, drawing eyebrows up to say "dear god, please look my way". and it only ever slows when you're lying on your nose. even breathing in the air just makes the run-around too goddamn much to bare. pace your nervous shaking bones. pour a glass and bring it home. when your insides start to cry, take a shot and let them die cause lying naked on the floor was such a mother fucking chore. drawing circles like a square never got you anywhere. a lighter head a blanker stare.
Track Name: Reaction
like the ghost of a cast of a shell of the person that you once had held. like a voice bearing nothing to keep in your head as you drift off to sleep. your reaction was less than required, acting like a goddamn child, throwing words out and making a mess and mistaking your worst for your best. you can sleep it off for the night on the couch, television screaming out to itself. flashing saviour, let it sing you to sleep while you're dreaming dreams of your next couple drinks. this isn't the way i keep friends. drunk and angry echoes float through the vents like the smoke from all your cigarettes, like the smoke from this fiery mess. have a cigarette to calm yourself down, throwing fists in your mind and your mouth. wonder why "i'm always running away" from your yelling and what bullshit you say. but you'll be back with us come morning time. your the mother fucking jekyll and hyde. what a beautiful soul in daylight, but what demons you got lying close behind. what devils you've got closing both your eyes. what devils give you such reason to fight. what demons you've got waiting close behind.
Track Name: Earth, Home
home; i had a calling, carved it into stone. ten commandments i prided as my own. oh never would i make it on my own. i'm very weak and i must make it known if i'm ever to leave this wretched earth. and if i love you, it's cause you loved me first, is that how you are telling me i work? peace be with me as the catheter runs dry. my hands raise with my mother by my side, but she forgot to state the distinction between the holy ghost and viccodin. but holy is the ghost who moves between the miracles that i had never seen. you say it's cause my faith was just too weak. fuck you for what you made me believe. fuck you for hiding bullshit up your sleeve. fuck you for making sex a guilty thing. fuck you for telling me that now that i think other things, it means that back when i was young and raising arms on bended knee, i never believed.